Sad

Last night our Mighty Bluestreaks were playing in their conference tournament and we went to the game.  It was an hour-and-a-half away, unfortunately, but we are all fired up about our team this year and want to support the team and coaches.  We lost and it was a bummer, but that is not the reason that I was so sad.

I was sad because of our crowd support.  Not because we weren't packing the stands with screaming fans covered in royal blue, I was sad because we weren't packing the stands with PARENTS of our players and cheerleaders.  I suppose I was spoiled a little growing up (or a lot), but someone representing my family was at every single event I was involved in...same with my brother...same with my cousins.  If either of my parents couldn't be there, which I can't really recall happening much, if at all, I knew that my grandparents would be there.  There was never a doubt.  I never had to worry about it, I am guessing I never even gave it a moment's thought because there was just always someone at my games.


And I was JUST a cheerleader.  I realize that for some dads out there (and maybe moms too) cheerleading isn't the most exciting thing to watch.  And I've often joked with Jay that if Madolyn is a cheerleader, at least you can pretend to watch her cheer and really be there for the game, you know.  And I know that, of course, Jay watches Madolyn cheer, he's just not super stoked about whether her arms are straight or if she hit the motions right.  I get that.  But one of us is there.  And usually one of our parents is there too.

I'm sure that when you have multiple children this gets tricky because you can't be four places at once.  And I suppose if you don't live near other family members, it could be impossible to spread out relatives at each game...okay, I'm not trying to beat you up and make you feel lousy.  But when I go to game after game after game and never, ever see a parent or family member of a specific player or players there, it makes me sad...and mad.

If your own child doesn't think you care about them and their interests, why should they care about anything either?  I mean, if you don't think enough of your children to go support them in the things they are involved in, what are you teaching them?  I realize that sometimes work makes it difficult, sometimes money is an issue.  With these long drives, I understand it can push your evening, but I'm not talking about missing just away games or a game here or there, I am talking about never, ever coming to anything.

As I surveyed our small crowd last night, there were three boys there with both parents and two boys there with one parent.  That is it.  Our bus driver, scorekeeper and two cheerleading sponsors were there as well.  Then there was our bunch consisting of three families (with children still in grade school) and a youth minister from one of our local churches.  There are at least a dozen boys on the basketball team and there were five cheerleaders present last night.  Of those 17 possible players or cheerleaders, there were five kids who had a parent in attendance.  Five.  That breaks my heart.

There are a couple kids on the team who thrive off of encouragement and support, you can tell it.  You see it when they look up into the crowd at the fans who are yelling words of encouragement and cheering them on.  You see it when they do something good and they are praised for it...not by the parent or grandparent, aunt or uncle, but by total strangers (practically) sitting in the stands every game, or almost every game.

If we want our kids to succeed in life, our actions need to speak louder than our words.  Our sacrifices should speak louder than our words.  If we want our kids to grow up and be responsible, productive citizens who care about their community, their own families and their futures, don't we, as parents, need to reflect that?  If we expect our children to fulfill their commitments, show responsibility and have the desire to better themselves, don't we need to model those things as well?

Even Jesus follows the whole monkey-see-monkey-do theory in John 5:19 when he says, "Whatever the Father does, the Son also does."  He says he does only what he sees the Father doing.  (Yes, even Jesus says that!!)  We know that children mirror what they see in their parents, the good and the bad.  Children pick up on our mannerisms, our attitudes, our words, our silence and even our absence.

It breaks my heart that there are kids right under my nose who don't have that support at home.  I am thankful for those who take time out of their own busy lives to show these kids that there are people out there that do care about them.  I am thankful for teachers and community members who love on these kids. 

If you're involved in a youth group, go out of your way to attend a sporting event or other extracurricular activity that one of your youth may be attending.  Show them that people care about what they're doing, what they're good at, what they are proud of and that their accomplishments matter.  Just support them.  Make a deal with a kid, tell them you'll come to their games if they'll come to youth.  Don't make your support contingent on their attendance at youth, but maybe if they see that they matter to you, they just might follow through on their end of the bargain!