So this past weekend, Madolyn and I were out of town for a three-day volleyball tournament in Indianapolis, Jay was working daylights and Lane was at one house and then another. When I left on Friday morning about 5:00 a.m. I was not thinking about what Lane might pack to either sleepover. He's at the age where I don't worry about it anymore - he usually remembers to take more than underwear.
Sunday afternoon I arrived home. Jay was at work, Madolyn was dropped off at the high school for musical practice, and Lane was waiting for me. He was a chatterbox, which I love. He gets that way every now and then, and I try to soak it up. If you know this guy, he's very quiet and backwards for the most part...especially if you're not a close friend or family member.
I noticed that although Lane had on 'good' jeans (meaning no holes and they still fit, sort of - he's growing so fast), he was wearing one of his two favorite hoodie sweatshirts. I was pleased that he wore 'good' jeans to a visiting church. I didn't think one second about what was on underneath the hoodie because he almost never takes it off.
Later, as the chattering continued, and while I was in the kitchen cooking, Lane hollered "Hey, mom. Did you happen to see what shirt I was wearing today?"
"No, I sure didn't, you've got your sweatshirt on."
He pulls the tail end of the shirt out from underneath his hoodie and says, "Look, it's that shirt I wore to Grandma Great's funeral.
"Oh yeah, " I said, acting as though I remembered...I didn't doubt him - it was solid red.
"As soon as I felt the material, I remembered I had worn it that day."
**Gulp**
My almost-twelve-year-old son remembers what he wore to Grandma Great's funeral almost two-and-a-half years later.
Just when I think he doesn't notice the small stuff...
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Too easy
But at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Mark 10:6-9 (NIV)
Divorce...I see it day in, day out. It's way too easy. And it really shouldn't be. They keep changing laws that make it even easier too. It's now to the point where you don't even have to be separated a certain period of time, there are very few grounds for divorce...whereas in the past you had to pick something like irreconcilable differences or adultery. Back several years ago, you had to be separated two years to get a divorce on irreconcilable differences, which means it was no one's fault, your marriage was just 'irretrievably broken down' and 'future attempts at reconciliation' were likely to fail. Then they created this six-month waiver you both could sign to get past the two years...because good heavens, what if I want to get remarried right away?!
At one time, having counsel was a must. Now, we have several pro se parties...which means they are doing it all on their own, thanks to the Internet websites that provide the forms and information. You can even file a waiver of fees and get the filing fees waived too...so you can really bypass a lot of the excess and get that quickie divorce.
This is what pushed me over the edge today - I just scheduled a divorce for an over-the-road truck driver, whose present live-in has been the one calling me for court dates. When I gave her the date, she responds by telling me that he will have to take the whole day off and how he doesn't want to waste too much time waiting his turn in court.
Oh, heaven forbid, you waste time on ending your marriage. What an inconvenience.
Makes me crazy.
And weddings. I can hook you up with a civil ceremony one Monday a month for a mere $10. Now, if you can get married for approximately $37 (license is $27 I think) and you can have your fees waived for divorce - what a deal!
I'm not against all courthouse weddings because I do think that every now and then we get serious couples in who just want to be married and don't need all the hoopla. That's fine with me. It is a waste of money to spend thousands on a wedding anyway, in my opinion, at least. But probably 75% of the weddings we see, we will again see in divorce court...or someone else will.
Or, hey, why bother with divorce? Just move in with someone else today! There is certainly no time to wait.
Marriage is serious. It's a contract entered into by two people (man and woman in my book) saying - No matter what I'm sticking this thing out with you. Even if I'm a jerk sometimes, or you're a jerk. Even if I like marina sauce and you like nacho cheese sauce (haha, I had to throw that one in for Jay). Even if things are not perfect.
I do realize stuff happens. Marriages do break down and some for very good reason. Some without fault by one party. But many times, you just have to push through the rough spots.
We live in a world that demands instant gratification and feel-good moments. There is absolutely no time to wait on anything. And for some reason our government has lost all sense when it comes to the laws regarding divorce. It should really not be such a petty procedure. I guarantee if they had some sort of app on the iPhone to get divorced, it would be a gold mine.
I may not have a perfect marriage, but I do have a serious belief in the commitment I made. Maybe I got lucky when I married my guy, (I'd like to think so) but whatever the case may be, it isn't always easy. And it shouldn't be.
Sometimes I have to accept the nacho cheese and do without the marinara. ;)
Mark 10:6-9 (NIV)
Divorce...I see it day in, day out. It's way too easy. And it really shouldn't be. They keep changing laws that make it even easier too. It's now to the point where you don't even have to be separated a certain period of time, there are very few grounds for divorce...whereas in the past you had to pick something like irreconcilable differences or adultery. Back several years ago, you had to be separated two years to get a divorce on irreconcilable differences, which means it was no one's fault, your marriage was just 'irretrievably broken down' and 'future attempts at reconciliation' were likely to fail. Then they created this six-month waiver you both could sign to get past the two years...because good heavens, what if I want to get remarried right away?!
At one time, having counsel was a must. Now, we have several pro se parties...which means they are doing it all on their own, thanks to the Internet websites that provide the forms and information. You can even file a waiver of fees and get the filing fees waived too...so you can really bypass a lot of the excess and get that quickie divorce.
This is what pushed me over the edge today - I just scheduled a divorce for an over-the-road truck driver, whose present live-in has been the one calling me for court dates. When I gave her the date, she responds by telling me that he will have to take the whole day off and how he doesn't want to waste too much time waiting his turn in court.
Oh, heaven forbid, you waste time on ending your marriage. What an inconvenience.
Makes me crazy.
And weddings. I can hook you up with a civil ceremony one Monday a month for a mere $10. Now, if you can get married for approximately $37 (license is $27 I think) and you can have your fees waived for divorce - what a deal!
I'm not against all courthouse weddings because I do think that every now and then we get serious couples in who just want to be married and don't need all the hoopla. That's fine with me. It is a waste of money to spend thousands on a wedding anyway, in my opinion, at least. But probably 75% of the weddings we see, we will again see in divorce court...or someone else will.
Or, hey, why bother with divorce? Just move in with someone else today! There is certainly no time to wait.
Marriage is serious. It's a contract entered into by two people (man and woman in my book) saying - No matter what I'm sticking this thing out with you. Even if I'm a jerk sometimes, or you're a jerk. Even if I like marina sauce and you like nacho cheese sauce (haha, I had to throw that one in for Jay). Even if things are not perfect.
I do realize stuff happens. Marriages do break down and some for very good reason. Some without fault by one party. But many times, you just have to push through the rough spots.
We live in a world that demands instant gratification and feel-good moments. There is absolutely no time to wait on anything. And for some reason our government has lost all sense when it comes to the laws regarding divorce. It should really not be such a petty procedure. I guarantee if they had some sort of app on the iPhone to get divorced, it would be a gold mine.
I may not have a perfect marriage, but I do have a serious belief in the commitment I made. Maybe I got lucky when I married my guy, (I'd like to think so) but whatever the case may be, it isn't always easy. And it shouldn't be.
Sometimes I have to accept the nacho cheese and do without the marinara. ;)
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