Little harder than I thought

For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.  Psalms 107:9  (NLT)

Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.  John 6:35 (NLT)

Yesterday, our high school/college youth group participated in the International One Meal One Day campaign.  It is sponsored by the Compassion organization and it is to help feed the hungry.  The rules were to skip one meal on just one day and donate that money to Compassion for their efforts against hunger. 

About three weeks ago, my friend I call Beth did a lesson on the subject matter and asked the kids if they wanted to participate.  They did.  Cool.  One of our senior high school girls took charge.  She created posters and organized an event in the gymnasium of the school during their lunch hour.  They would gather there, collect the donations, have a short devotion and pray about those suffering from hunger.  I think all but one or two youth from our high school youth group participated in the gathering.  Those that are in another school and college participated on their own and the leaders did also.  (I think the kids have gathered nearly $70 so far!)

Wow, it was way harder than I thought, which I know sounds absolutely ridiculous.  I am the type of person that eats a little bit all day, which is not to say that you will never see me eat a bunch at once because I'm fully capable of that as well.  I eat toast and hot chocolate for breakfast every morning around 6:45 and then about 10:00 I eat an apple or two, sometimes with peanut butter.  I usually eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or lunch meat with a cheese stick for lunch and then an afternoon snack.  Although Jay had encouraged me to eat the apple as a snack and then truly skip my lunch, I felt as if it was cheating...because I eat here and there all day and not necessarily one organized lunch meal. 

Thankfully, I had my 32 oz Diet Pepsi and a busy docket that got me through the morning.  Lunch came and I went grocery shopping at Walmart (which is not a good idea when you're hungry) and went for a walk for the rest of the lunch hour.  That filled my hour.  Throughout the morning I had sent up many prayers for strength, that I would draw my strength from God and not food,  etc.  And although I should not be surprised, after the prayer, I wouldn't think about it for a while.  I wish today that I had asked God to help me quit thinking about it because I became obsessed with the fact that I could not eat anything...but I realize that maybe that was the point of it all.

I would walk in my office with my stomach growling and think, oh, I'll just grab a few slices of my apple or some crackers, I would then remind myself that I couldn't and that I can make it though this because children and adults live like this daily...I am simply skipping ONE STINKIN' MEAL.  There are people who are lucky if they get a cup of rice once a day.  It made me sick to my stomach thinking of how selfish I was being...how fortunate I am...how I can pretend to understand hunger but will never ever 'get' it...how I'm spoiled beyond their wildest dreams.  I can walk to the cabinet or fridge any time I want and get anything out of there I want...without a single thought of worrying about what I or my family would eat tomorrow.  If I want ice cream, I will hop in my car and drive 15 miles to get it.  I tried to explain it to my own kids but they don't even almost get it.  What can I say?  It is unimaginable. 

So last night we gathered at my house before revival (the youth group) and ate chili, potato soup, hot dogs, sandwiches, pumpkin bars, chocolate chip cookie bars, brownies, pickles, cheese, crackers.  We had Pepsi, Mountain Dew, water and Tea.  There were leftovers, lots of leftovers.  We could have fed several more.  We could have even ate less and been just fine.  I was sick to my stomach having eaten so much after being so hungry.  Again, I felt guilty.  I still have no clue what it is REALLY like.  I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to grasp real hunger. 

I know that people fast all the time for religious-based reasons and I think that is great.  That is a powerful testimony to God.  I am not saying I will never try fasting again...maybe God is telling me I need to do it more often, not just because of starving people across the world, but maybe for my own good...to remind me that I have to let God fill my needs and not a bunch of food. 

By 3:00 yesterday, my stomach had quit growling, I wasn't shaking anymore and my headache wasn't too bad.  I actually did okay then until about 4:30 when I started baking brownies...then I broke down and ate my apple.  I'm proud of the youth who participated, I'm glad I participated, but it certainly was a little harder than I thought it would be...newsflash...I survived :)