The black hole

Oh mercy me, I wanted Hank the Tank II so badly, didn't I?  I couldn't wait.  I was counting down the weeks until we could pick him up.  I was thrilled when Jay picked him up a day early and surprised me.  Sometimes I am an idiot.

So far Hank has chewed through the laptop cord, Jay's iPod cord, gnawed on several shoes, destroyed my bath rug, left marks on my brand new lawnchairs, made holes in so many of Lane's shirts or pants I have lost count, ripped my shoelaces from my tennis shoes into tiny shreds, ate the handle of a pumpkin and chewed the corner of a cool rustic box that I really love...but last night's discovery takes the cake.

I'm standing in the kitchen and Jay is rolling around on the floor with Hank in the living room.  Jay yells at me and says, "Oh my gosh, Hank has chewed a hole in the carpet."  (insert look on my face)  "but it's not that bad really, you have to be looking for it to notice."  I continue cleaning up the kitchen or whatever I was doing.  Few minutes later, I go back into living room and see it.  Let's get something straight here.  Why men try to sugarcoat things is beyond me.  You don't have to be looking for it.  You could snag your toe in it and fall.  It is about the size of a half dollar and it is completely through to the pad.

Fortunately for them, as I've told my family over and over and over, I'm not a crier...because again, this would be one of those instances where I might start bawling.  Our carpet, although not in pristine condition by any means, is only ten years old and minus a couple stains (I was planning to have it cleaned this week) it's pretty good.  I had not even considered having it replaced any time soon, not even one second's consideration.  Our kids are still young enough to spill and stain it!!

In talking with my coworker I call Kathy, I have come up with a plan to "repair" the black hole.  I (Jay) will cut a piece of carpet out of Madolyn's closet (as her carpet is the worst in the whole house, fingernail polish, markers, unknowns) and will then glue it to the hole.  It won't be pretty, but it will at least fill in the crevice and be a little less noticeable...you know, you won't see it unless you're looking for it...for real.

I know that if you are not an animal lover you are thinking, why in the world would you let a dog destroy your house?  I know, it takes some degree of insanity.  It's not like we haven't been through puppies before, and actually, several times.  It is no secret that they are destructive, chew on absolutely everything and are on a mission to attack and destroy.  How can you let a pet do this to your home?  Because they are so precious, of course.

Last night we decided Hank needed to be locked up in our bathroom, contained so he was not free to roam around the house seeking out chew toys.  Jay threw him a bone and his blanket and set the baby gate up.  About 4:15 a.m. I heard that unmistakable gagging sound, flipped the light on and Hank had puked on his blanket (thankfully).  I know this is a little TMI here, but there on his blanket in a small pile laid what was left of the hole from the carpet.  It's like salt in a wound, you know...