Grace and Mercy

Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:3-10 (NIV)

Meet my two friends, Grace and Mercy.  Seems like lately there has been talk about these two gals everywhere I go.  And for some reason, no matter how many times my friend "Beth" explains to me the difference, I get them confused.  I think grace and mercy are things I'll need in my parenting bag of tricks.  So after reading yet another devotional on the subject matter, I decided that maybe if I wrote about them, it would stick in my head (yeah, probably not, but we'll see).

So I looked up the definitions for grace and mercy online at Merriam-Webster.  Here's what they had to say:  grace (noun) a: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace.  2 a: approval, favor b archaic: mercy, pardon c: a special favor, privilege d: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency e: a temporary exemption, reprieve. 

Then I noticed that M-W had a kids' dictionary so I thought I would see what they had to tell me about grace.  1 a: help given to people by God in overcoming temptation b: a state of freedom from sin enjoyed through divine grace 2: a short prayer at a meal  3 a: approval, favor b: a special favor : privilege c: a temporary delay granted from the performance of an obligation.

 (Now I was a little thrown when the definition of grace showed the word mercy...because, that is my problem - I tend to think they're the same thing and there they go including mercy in grace's definition!)

This was also from the kids' dictionary:  Mercy (noun) 1 a: kind and gentle treatment of someone (as a wrongdoer or opponent) having no right to it b: a disposition to show mercy  2 a: a blessing as an act of divine love b: a fortunate happening  3: kindness shown to victims of misfortune.

So there you go, the official definition of grace and mercy...although again, I really need it put in simpler terms.  I cannot go around carrying a dictionary everywhere I go.  So I searched for the difference online and came up with the following:  "Mercy and grace are often confused. While the terms have similar meanings, grace and mercy are not the same. To summarize the difference: mercy is God not punishing us as our sins deserve, and grace is God blessing us despite the fact that we do not deserve it. Mercy is deliverance from judgment. Grace is extending kindness to the unworthy."  (gotquestions.org)

 As a parent, I often pray that God will give me the knowledge to know when to offer my kids grace and mercy.  I envision a scenario like this:  Child goes some where they're not supposed to, realizes it, decides they have to get out of there, and call to get a ride home or comes home.  Parents discover child lied or was deceptive about going where they knew they were not supposed to be.  But parents are thankful that child removed him or herself from the situation before something bad happened and more importantly because they knew in their gut they shouldn't have been there.  I think this is a classic example to offer mercy, right?  The parent in me will want to punish the child because of their deception or misbehavior so that it never (hopefully) occurs again.  But will God speak to me and say, Sarah, this is when you offer mercy.  Your child knows what he/she did was wrong, they are sick with guilt about it, and in the end, he/she made the right choice. 

I sure hope that God will make it crystal clear to me.  I have a tendency to be rather hard on my kids which my daughter interpets to mean I want her to be perfect.  I don't want my kids to be perfect, I want them to live up to their potential and be good, kind, productive Christian citizens.  It is scary, as a parent, to wonder if you're doing the right thing.  I'm glad that the topic of grace and mercy keeps popping up.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll understand it in time.