Plain and ordinary

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Sometimes when I hear someone's really good story of redemption or how they came to know Christ, I think, man, how come I don't have a great story...mine is so plain and ordinary.  I know that should be a good thing, that I should be thankful that I haven't hit rock bottom from some sort of addiction or life-threatening situation, but sometimes I am a little envious of their story over mine.

I know a lot of times people question what their purpose is in life, what plan God has for them, I think we all have.  Sometimes I wonder why He has spared me of some of the awful things that I have watched others go through (some over and over again) and I am brought back to the simple truth that God has a plan for me.  As some would say, maybe he just isn't finished with me yet.

Last year at church camp, our speaker for the older Junior High kids was a preacher from one of the churches in our denomination, not too far from where I attend.  I really love to hear him speak.  First of all, he is just a very likeable guy.  He almost always has a smile on his face, he has a good sense of humor and usually has kind words to share.  But hearing him tell this story of a very lost young man struggling with drug and alcohol addictions, abuse, broken relationships, etc., and then hearing him say, "That was me" gets me every time.  I have heard him tell his story twice, and I always think, wow, God has used this man and his story for such a greater purpose.  Then I thank God for the struggles and things he went through because he is now using his past to help others.  And then I wonder if I should be thankful for the terrible things he went through??

So that always gets me thinking about what I have to offer someone.  You know what I mean.  For example, if you were struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction, would you rather be counseled by someone like me who has never had that particular problem, or by someone who has been exactly where you are?  By all means, don't give me the life-is-so-much-better-without-those-awful-things-and-how-can-you-do-that-to-your-body lady, give me the person that has lived it.  I always wonder if the person that is asking me for advice about something, that I have no personal experience with, really walks away feeling any better from the words I have offered?  Or are they thinking, okay, this chic has no clue what it's like to be me and she's just using all those fluffy words and phrases to make me feel better?  I don't know.

Those situations always make me feel like such a failure.  I know that I can pray about their predicament, I can even pray with them, I can offer them scripture passages that deal with their particular issue, but I still feel so helpless at times.  Every now and then I will catch myself wondering if something big is going to happen in my life, good or bad, that God is going to use as my big story to help others.  Then I think, STOP IT, I don't want anything bad to happen in my life, how could I even think that?!  I don't want to be the one who is desperately fighting to find a cure for an incurable cancer that a loved one has, I don't want to be the one who is speaking out against this sort of abuse or that, I don't want to be the one speaking to a group of teenagers about the dangers of drugs and/or alcohol because it has greatly affected my life.

But they are out there.  All over the place.  Loved ones who go through these horrible situations and experiences.  They survive it most of the time, at least on the outside.  Some do use those situations for good, some do not.  I will not judge how they respond with it because I simply have no clue. 

Maybe this is my story.  Maybe this blog is how I will help others.  Maybe not.  Maybe I will just be a plain and ordinary Christian and trust what God has planned for me.  Maybe I should be thankful for that.