The Delivery

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

During the past few weeks this has been on my mind a lot and it seems like I've encountered this situation many times. And then over and over in my mind, I kept hearing, "it's all about the delivery."  I'm talking about how things are presented, as in the package. 

As an example, not that this would ever happen, of course...The kids wake up and one of them might possibly say something like, "I want breakfast now."  To which, I could respond, in my Mommie-Dearest voice, "Too bad."   Whereas, if they had said, "Oh, best mom ever, may I have breakfast, please?"  I would have responded in my Leave-it-to-Beaver-June-Cleaver voice, "Yes, my little darling."

It's often said that we lash out at the ones we love and I definitely believe that. Thus, if I'm in a bad mood, my kids and Jay get the brunt of it.  I will walk in the house from work and immediately I hear requests and demands.  I end up snapping at them.  I know they don't realize it, but if they would just give me a minute and let me put my stuff down and change my clothes, their requests might be better received.

My better half would say that I shouldn't have to worry about the delivery of the package.  Just get it out there on the table.  Say what you have to say.  But I tend to believe the delivery is important to get the better or more productive response.  How we handle ourselves and our words in conversing and dealing with others is key to how we will be treated in return.

In the past six months, I have had three people comment on how calm I appear during certain situations.  Funny.  What they probably didn't realize was that at that very moment, internally, I was about to implode, but I have learned through past experiences that getting worked up and hysterical doesn't help much.  For instance, if there are four people experiencing a catastrophe and those four people are hysterical, all you have is major hysteria in the midst of a catastrophe.  It's non-productive.  (And really, folks, I'm not that calm all the time.)

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes is from the movie, Lean on Me, with Morgan Freeman.  During this movie, Freeman is brought in as principal of a very rough, inner-city school.  At one point he tells some of his staff, "If we treat our students like animals, that's exactly how they'll behave."  That movie came out in 1989 and that particular quote has been stuck in my mind ever since.  I get it.

There was a situation recently where a request was made by a committee member (I'm a member of same committee) at a meeting.  I couldn't be present, but as soon as I encountered folks leaving that meeting, I was hearing comments about it.  After talking with a few people, I came to the conclusion that because of the way the request was made, people took offense.  It wasn't intended to offend or attack anyone at all, but the delivery of the message wasn't quite right.

I just read a quote in a blog last week that I loved, and you may have seen it on my Facebook.  It said, "Yelling at a bud won't make it bloom."  That is exactly my point.  And believe me, I can yell...and I do yell when necessary.  Occasionally, I yell when it's not necessary (my kids would say that it's never necessary). 
 
Sometimes you have to wrap the package up real pretty for it to be well-received.  I know it shouldn't have to be like that all the time, but it's amazing how the delivery or presentation of something can make all the difference.  Just be mindful, if you come in with guns a blazing, you better get out your breastplate and expect to be fired upon.