My health nut

(Some names have been changed to protect the nutty innocent.)   I was reading an article online about the death of actor, Michael Clark Duncan.  It had a link to an article on the top things you could do to cut the risk of heart attacks in younger males.  I read through them and was very pleased that "The Dog" (aka the nutty innocent one) was following all but two of the seventeen items.  Because there are heart issues in his genes, I was thrilled that The Dog was taking care of himself.

At this moment I cannot recall what one of the two was, but it was something food-related.  The second one was the one that struck a cord with me...cleaning the house and doing household chores.  Sweet!   As we were taking a walk the other night, I told him about the article and of course his question was, "What are the two things I don't do already?"   I gladly rattled off the one about cleaning.

The very next morning, The Dog and I were in the kitchen.  (This is his week off.)  I was cutting up apples for my mid-morning apple and peanut butter snack, The Dog was messing at the sink.  I asked what he was doing...he said he was loading the dishes into the dishwasher so he could mark that one off the heart attack risk list.  I had to laugh...I hope he realizes they don't mean just one chore one time.  (It probably needs to be on a regular basis...I mean, yes, it has to be.) 

We drink a lot of tea.  We use the cold-brew Lipton tea bags and we love it.  Two evenings ago, The Dog comes in the kitchen and tells me he is going out to get some sassafras so that he can make me the best tea ever.  Random, but okay.  Next thing I know I see the tractor pass by the window.  What in the world is he doing on a tractor?  (You have to know The Dog...it didn't really surprise me a lot, but he must have gotten sidetracked on another project.)  Lane even comes in and says, "What's dad doing?"  To which I replied, "Getting sassafras for tea."  Hmm, okay.

After 30 minutes or so, The Dog comes in and I ask him what he was doing with the tractor.  He tells me that he was getting sassafras.  "With the tractor?" I ask.  "Yeah, I had to knock it over.  It'll grow back."  Hmm, I didn't realize you had to knock a tree over to get sassafras, but whatever.  He washes the bits and pieces of the sassafras and puts a pan on the stove to boil it.

The tea is boiled and prepared.  He drinks a big glass.  Forces Madolyn to try some.  She thinks it's nasty.  It's bright pink in the pitcher.  I don't touch it.  I'm fine with my plain ole Lipton tea bags.  Last night he comes in the house and says, "I wonder if sassafras has caffeine in it, I couldn't sleep worth a darn last night" (as he is boiling another pot of tea on the stove).  I tell him to google it.  He gets on the computer and a few minutes later starts laughing. 

So I bite..."It has caffeine in it, doesn't it?"  "Nope. No caffeine.  It's a carcinogen.  It's linked to cancer."  So I immediately turn off the tea that is boiling and rolling out aromas, "Great, these fumes are poisoning us, you've forced your daughter to drink the stuff and you've had a whole pitcher.  Good thing you're taking care of your heart"...you nut.