Two sides to every story...or three

One of the biggest lessons I've learned from my paid employment as a court reporter is that there are at least two sides to every story and sometimes three or even four.  I know that probably doesn't make sense to you.  But from the many stories I've heard in court during trials or hearings, it's amazing that there can be so many versions of the same event.  And the really strange thing is that a lot of the time, they're all true.

Let me explain.  I'm thinking of a jury trial I did once where there was a good 'ole bar fight.  So you know that the bar was full of people, some of them were probably under the influence, but there were lots of witnesses.  And one by one they told their side of the story, their view of what happened before and after the big fight.  It was amazing because at times, I'd think, okay, wait a minute, there is no way that is the truth, but then another witness would come up and then I'd realize that maybe it was, at least somewhat true.  What I decided was that they all believed what they saw was what happened, but the key was at what point they saw what they said they saw. 

For instance (and I'm totally making part of this up:), witness A saw victim receive a major blow to the head by defendant, it was unprovoked and completely out of the blue.  Witness B saw victim, just three seconds before that blow, slap the behind of the defendant's girlfriend.  Witness A said that victim did nothing to deserve the hit from defendant, but Witness A didn't see the slap of the behind.  Girlfriend says victim had been harassing her, she was telling him to leave her alone and then he slapped her on the rear end.  Her boyfriend (the defendant) saw this and went on attack.  Girlfriend's BFF says that victim and defendant's girlfriend had been flirting and even danced together earlier in the evening. Witness C walks in the bar as the fight is going down and sees the victim kick the defendant, but had not seen anything before the kick.

I know that all sounds confusing, but every single witness testified to what they saw and they swear it is the truth...and it may be what they saw at the time they saw it, but it is not the entire story.  Does that make any sense at all?

I have also found that I will be totally wrapped up and believing in one side's story of a divorce or domestic dispute, thinking that the other person is just awful...and then I'll hear the other side's version.  Ah-ha.  They didn't mention all that 'other' stuff that went on.  Now, I must admit that is not ALWAYS the case.  There are many situations out there where one side is really that awful, but I've come to discover that many like to sugarcoat their side.  But I guess that's probably the case in a lot of things, isn't it?

Whenever I'm asked about my job and the things that I've learned from it, this is probably about at the top of the list.  I used to think everything I read or heard was THE TRUTH...but now I realize that it's not.  It may be the truth as one person sees or interprets it, but it may not be the whole story.  My kids don't realize it, but this is one reason I grill them on everything when they're telling me a story about something that happened.  (Jay calls it my cross examination.)  I can't help it.  I love my kids and want to believe they'll always tell me the truth, but I know they are kids and sometimes their view is skewed...as mine can be when it comes to those two kiddos. 

As I read something in the newspaper or see a post online or on Facebook that I know maybe a little more about than others because of my position, it is hard not to shout out, "That's not exactly the whole story," and I have commented before that just because you read something on the FRONT PAGE of the newspaper doesn't mean it's the complete truth.  Ahhh, I have to bite my tongue.  Actually, I'm fortunate to still have a tongue because working in my home county really makes it a bit harder for me than working two counties away.

So just remember in the future that there are two sides to every story, or three, or four.  (I still have to remind myself of this too when I want to jump to a conclusion, I guess that's why I'm not a judge!)