Never satisfied...

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.   (Psalms 37:4 NKJV)

I am never satisfied.  I admit it.  When I'm hungry, you might as well get out of my way.  I will shove you over to get to the kitchen, fridge or buffet line.  Yes, I will take candy from my children or the last roll out of your hand. I get the shakes, have the sweats and my head starts spinning.  It's so funny if Jay is working days and the kids and I are waiting to eat supper with him, I will literally set the table and pace.  Then as soon as he walks in, I pounce.  I practically drag him to the table so we can pray and I can start eating...I don't even care if he needs to feed the animals, go to the bathroom, change his clothes.  Sit down now and let's pray a beautiful peaceful prayer of thanksgiving over this food...so Sarah can shove it in her face because we know she is starving to death.  Truly.

When I am full, same thing, you might as well get out of my way.  Do not touch me, do not bump me, leave me alone.  I feel like a stuffed pig and I probably need to unbutton my pants...or change into something with elastic, or maybe take a nap.  It will take hours to recover, and still I will not learn and may return to the kitchen for leftovers.  I know it is sickening, but it tastes so good today and tomorrow it won't.

Temperature, where do I start?  When I am cold, I am cold.  I am sorry you are hot.  I am sorry you are sweating.  I am not.  I am freezing.  See those goosebumps on my arms, they are real.  My hands are ice-like.  I am shaking and shivering.  My body is tense because I am so cold.  I know that you cannot understand how I can be cold when you are so hot, but it is what it is.  I have had my thyroid checked, it is fine.  I wear a sweater every day at work and almost always have a sweatshirt in the car just in case we go some place that is absolutely freezing.  I drink hot cocoa every morning and night, even if it is 100 degrees outside.  I like heat and warmth...unless I am hot. 

When I am hot, I am hot.  Get out of my way, I may even be sweating.  This does not happen very often, but if it does, seriously, stand back.  I could combust...especially if it's because I am hungry.  The worst part is that I mostly sweat in two places...my butt and my chest (I was nice, thank you).  So although I may look like I'm not hot, drops of sweat are soaking my undergarments.  When I stand up from sitting on that plastic bleacher, there will be wet spots on the seat or my pants.  It is awful, I really do not like to be miserably hot.  At night I'm like a fire ball.  I begin the night with a blanket and socks on...only to be kicking them both off around midnight because I am so stinkin' hot.

Take the Midwest, we're always ready for another season.  Fall hits and everyone loves the leaves changing and the cool night air.  Fall fades into Winter and we're excited for SNOW, but when it's snowing (too much) and there is ice and maybe the electricity is out for, oh, I don't know, let's say six days, and we've had enough, we are just praying for Spring to come.  When Spring comes, we just wish it would stop raining so that everything wouldn't be so sloppy and the farmers could plant, the kids are dying for school to be out and wanting Summer to hit. Then, when we finally hit Summer, we are begging for the cooler temperatures of Fall.

Last Sunday during church there was a lot of talk about needing rain.  Of course, the need for rain was mentioned in prayer, but we also praised God for the sunshine and even the warm temperatures.  He knows what we need, which unfortunately, isn't always what we want.  When I walked out to my car after church, there were rain clouds to the north.  Amazing, it was going to rain...and it did.  Praise the Lord. 

I suppose it is just our human nature.  Eve could've refused the bite of the apple, but she didn't.  It was just the beginning.  I'm a lot like Eve at times, I am never satisfied.  I always want something else; then when I get it, sometimes I wish I hadn't.  I realize though it is because I am trying to 'satisfy' myself with things of this earth.  That is my mistake.  I know these are silly examples, but my point is that if I want to be fully satisfied, I must first delight myself in the Lord.  I must first be thankful for what I do have, what He has given me and fill myself with His word. 

I'm thankful that God will provide for me, in whatever circumstance, what it is that I need.  He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what is really important.  Am I going to starve to death if it's 6:35 pm and Jay is running late?  Probably not.  I may be a tad grouchy until I get food in my system, but I'm not suffering by any means.  I don't even know what real suffering is.  Thankfully, someone else took care of that for me.