OUT!

First off, a disclaimer:  I am not, nor have I ever proclaimed to be the perfect parent.  I do not know all the answers.  I'm learning that I'm learning as I go along :)

Christmas evening, we took the kids to see Parental Guidance with Billy Crystal, Bette Midler & Marissa Tomei.  It was rated PG and was a cute movie.  About half-way through, I was afraid my kids probably weren't enjoying it, but they both said they did.  Good deal.

For a couple years, I have found myself, along with many others, asking the question, "What is wrong with kids these days?"  Is there anything they take seriously?  Don't they know what responsibility is?  Do they have any respect?  Have they ever heard of working hard for something?  And you probably get my drift.

Recently I had a revelation.  The problem with "kids these days" is primarily their parents.  And yes, that includes me. 

In the movie, Parental Guidance, the grandparents (Billy & Bette) are watching their three grandchildren while mom (Marissa) and dad go on a business trip/vacation.  The rules grandma and grandpa are given to parent the kids are ridiculous...and real.  Unfortunately.  For example, they were not to tell the children "no" or "don't do that."  Instead, they should say things like "consider the consequences" and "use your words."  Now, I admit that I often use the "consequence" line, but it is usually following something like, "I don't think so" or "uh-uh, no way."

The middle child, a boy, has a stuttering problem.  He's in group speech therapy.  Billy takes him to a therapy session and watches as the kids needing speech therapy spend an hour not talking, but acting out things in a circle.  It was hilarious.  I'm sure this theory has been researched by some experts, but watching it play out on screen was ridiculous.  They weren't "using their words," they were learning other ways to communicate.  Hmm, so their speech can improve...

What I think Jay and I both really related to was the little league baseball scene.  In the movie, Billy Crystal is a baseball announcer and enthusiast.  He is in the stands watching his grandson pitch three strikes and is taken aback when the batter is not "out" after the third strike.  He is told by the umpire that there are no outs and they do not keep score.  At the end, there is a tie and everyone goes home happy.  Of course, grandpa is completely baffled.

This was a repeat of a conversation Jay and I had when our kids started little league.  (We thought it would get better when our kids bumped up to the next level in the league, nope.)  You mean we are teaching our kids to play baseball, but we're not playing by the rules?  Rules that were brought into existence many, many years ago.  Rules that make up the game of baseball.  I mean, if you want to change the rules, change the name of the game, right?  Because what you're now playing is not American baseball. 

True story, in the league Lane was in last year, if the ball was hit into the outfield, a player could put his hands in the air to stop the runner from advancing the bases.  Is that not the craziest thing you've ever heard?!  God forbid, a batter get a double or a triple...a home run, why that's completely uncalled for!  

We had this discussion with our kiddos on the way home after the movie.  (And yes, I'm sure they were so happy to be included in it.)  We were discussing that particular baseball scene and how we could relate.  We told the kids that...here it comes...life is NOT FAIR.  Not everyone wins.  Not everyone gets that job they are wanting.  There are failures, disappointments, mistakes...and hopefully, you learn from them.  Hopefully, they make you stronger.  Maybe, you learn later, it was for the best because something better came along.  If everyone is on a level playing field, where is the desire to improve and do your best?

Hollywood is totally making fun of us parents.  Do we get it?  Even they realize that what we're doing is foolish.  We are doing a disservice to ourselves and our children and their children if we think the path we're on is a good one.  Parents, do you get that your children, the ones who cannot make a good decision on their own (because we're making every single one of them), are the ones we're training to take care of us when we're old?  Our government is a horrible example of financial responsibility and morals...if we are too, what will our children be like?

First and foremost a child needs to be exposed to Christ.  Without Christ in your heart, you are on a "first-class-ticket-to-nowhere" (thank you, Ferris Bueller's Day Off).  Going to church with your kids, as a family, is one of the best things I can do for my children.  Church is not an option.  I can't just go to church and act like a Christian, I have to be one.

We also have to teach our kids how to fail because it happens, and just because a person fails doesn't mean they are a failure.  Mistakes are some of the best life lessons I have had.  Disappointments are sometimes those unanswered prayers that Garth Brooks talks about.  They become a blessing. 

So I guess my end-of-the-year rant is this...go see Parental Guidance.  The whole nation should go see it...so we realize how ignorant we look.  Parents, teach your kids how to deal with life.  Grandparents, don't give up.  And for crying out loud, three strikes in baseball is an OUT.