Hello caller...

Probably one of the biggest frustrations I encounter on the job is the phone, which isn't terrible, I suppose, if that is my biggest frustration, right?

For instance, somewhere we are listed as the general number for the courthouse.  I get many phone calls asking for another office.  I know I've been at this particular job for three years, but I have yet to figure out how to transfer a call to another phone successfully.  So I give them the number of the office they want, they ask, can't you just transfer me?  To which I answer, No, I really can't.  Sorry.

Here is the kicker for me.  When someone calls asking for information or a phone number and I start to give it to them, they say, "Oh, wait, I don't have a pen and paper handy.  Let me grab something real quick."  Really?  You called asking me for a phone number and you don't have something to write it down on? 

The thing is if I were a citizen calling a courthouse, the last office I would call would be the judge.  I find it unusual that out of the five or six listings in the book, that is the one chosen.  I don't get it. 

I love it when someone calls to get help and then proceeds to tell me their life story.  I respond with the usual, "I'm sorry, I cannot help you with that, you need to call here."  And they continue on with their story.  I will again explain that telling me all of this won't do any good and they need to call this number.  I try to be kind because I know they are frustrated, but really, I'm just the court reporter, I cannot help you.  I say that over and over and over.

Here's one I used to find comical.  I say that I used to because after the umpteenth inquiry, it got old.  Somewhere online if you search birth certificates and Illinois, you will get a page that has Clark County and then our number in the link.  It isn't claiming to be the number to call for information regarding birth certificates, but it's what people see when they do a quick search.  I will get at least three to four calls a month from someone asking for a birth certificate for...Cook County, and usually I only discover this after about a 90-second explanation of why they need the copy of their birth certificate.

I had a call earlier today asking about a traffic ticket.  I told them they needed to call another office and gave them that number.  The caller then asked me what area code it was.  I really wanted to say, well, sir, it's the same area code you called to get me, but I was nice and I didn't.   I kept thinking that Jeff Foxworthy's "Here's your sign" phrase seemed appropriate though.

About once a month I get a call from an automated system asking if we want to refinance our mortgage, fix our roof, reduce or monthly utility bill by 30% or update some sort of google page.  Another popular automated message is the one where she asks for the person in charge of our accounts.  Ahhh.

People call me to get court dates.  If I'm away from my desk or in court, they leave a message with a number to call back.  And here is my biggest irritation of all...I call back and they don't answer, in my mind, most likely because it says "Private number" or "unavailable" on the caller ID.  I just want to leave a nasty message saying, "Hey, you called me.  If you want to talk to me, you're going to have to call me back!"  But because I'm so professional (hahaha) I don't.  I smile and wave.   And the reason I believe they choose not to answer because of the caller ID status is that within twenty seconds of me hanging up my phone, they call, telling me they got my message.

No joke, as I was finishing the end of this post, the phone rang.  Caller:  "Yeah, I know I called the wrong number but could you connect me with the clerk's office?"  "No, but I can give you that number."   There are days I just want to say, "Hello caller, you're live on the air..."