Too easy

But at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.
                                                                         Mark 10:6-9  (NIV)

Divorce...I see it day in, day out.  It's way too easy.  And it really shouldn't be.  They keep changing laws that make it even easier too.  It's now to the point where you don't even have to be separated a certain period of time, there are very few grounds for divorce...whereas in the past you had to pick something like irreconcilable differences or adultery.  Back several years ago, you had to be separated two years to get a divorce on irreconcilable differences, which means it was no one's fault, your marriage was just 'irretrievably broken down' and 'future attempts at reconciliation' were likely to fail.  Then they created this six-month waiver you both could sign to get past the two years...because good heavens, what if I want to get remarried right away?!

At one time, having counsel was a must.  Now, we have several pro se parties...which means they are doing it all on their own, thanks to the Internet websites that provide the forms and information.  You can even file a waiver of fees and get the filing fees waived too...so you can really bypass a lot of the excess and get that quickie divorce.

This is what pushed me over the edge today - I just scheduled a divorce for an over-the-road truck driver, whose present live-in has been the one calling me for court dates.  When I gave her the date, she responds by telling me that he will have to take the whole day off and how he doesn't want to waste too much time waiting his turn in court.

Oh, heaven forbid, you waste time on ending your marriage.  What an inconvenience.

Makes me crazy.

And weddings.   I can hook you up with a civil ceremony one Monday a month for a mere $10.  Now, if you can get married for approximately $37 (license is $27 I think) and you can have your fees waived for divorce - what a deal!

I'm not against all courthouse weddings because I do think that every now and then we get serious couples in who just want to be married and don't need all the hoopla.  That's fine with me.  It is a waste of money to spend thousands on a wedding anyway, in my opinion, at least.  But probably 75% of the weddings we see, we will again see in divorce court...or someone else will.

Or, hey, why bother with divorce?  Just move in with someone else today!  There is certainly no time to wait.

Marriage is serious.  It's a contract entered into by two people (man and woman in my book) saying - No matter what I'm sticking this thing out with you.  Even if I'm a jerk sometimes, or you're a jerk.  Even if I like marina sauce and you like nacho cheese sauce (haha, I had to throw that one in for Jay).  Even if things are not perfect.

I do realize stuff happens.  Marriages do break down and some for very good reason.  Some without fault by one party.  But  many times, you just have to push through the rough spots.

We live in a world that demands instant gratification and feel-good moments.  There is absolutely no time to wait on anything.  And for some reason our government has lost all sense when it comes to the laws regarding divorce.  It should really not be such a petty procedure.  I guarantee if they had some sort of app on the iPhone to get divorced, it would be a gold mine.

I may not have a perfect marriage, but I do have a serious belief in the commitment I made.  Maybe I got lucky when I married my guy, (I'd like to think so) but whatever the case may be, it isn't always easy.  And it shouldn't be.

Sometimes I have to accept the nacho cheese and do without the marinara.  ;)

Going back to the basics

Just a follow-up to my 2014 perspective on Adam & Eve.  As I continued to read on in Genesis, I was struck by the simplicity (but very strong message) of that story and how it could be so pertinent in today's culture.

God told Adam (and Eve) not to do something, but they did it anyway and guess what?  They had to pay the price for it.  It wasn't pretty either.  What had been set up to be a life of perfection was now...pain during child birth, shame, soil filled with weeds, hard work and pain.

I saw someone post something on Facebook similar to this:  We put a dog down when it bites a human, causing injury, pain and suffering.  Yet, when a human does the same thing...

That is a pretty harsh statement maybe, but stepping back and thinking about it, hmm, it kind of makes sense.  Have we lost sight of a very simple concept?

Maybe we should go back to the basics.  If you do something wrong, you face the consequences.  Stop blaming someone else and take responsibility for your actions.

And I think to myself, Oh, if only it were that easy, and yet, maybe it is...

Adam & Eve with a 2014 Perspective

Most of us know the importance of the story of Adam & Eve and the forbidden fruit.  God put Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden and specifically told Adam... And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it, you will certainly die."  (Genesis 2:16-17)

Pretty clear instruction, wasn't it?  And what did Eve do?  She let herself become convinced by the serpent that eating the apple would make things clearer to her...and boy, did it.

Now, let's put this scenario into a 2014 perspective...

God places Adam and his companion in the garden, tells them specifically what not to do, and they do it. They are immediately ashamed and face the music.

Most certainly God is to blame for this and should be sued for their pain and suffering.  It is God's fault that Eve disobeyed because God put that pretty red apple right in front of her.  He should have known she would not be able to fight the temptation of eating it and the consequences she would face as a result.

I'm thinking that, as a direct descendant, I could even sue God for pain and suffering.  How about we make it a class action lawsuit.

Makes perfect sense, don't you think?

Driver Distractions

This subject matter has been on my mind a lot lately because of a new law - driving distractions.  I have decided that many things cause distractions, it's just that some are more noticeable than others.  Personally, I'm annoyed by the new law regarding cell phone use while driving.  What is next?


For instance, my daughter is always wanting to drive, and I am always telling her that even though she may believe she is a good driver (little too soon to tell), how would she be in an emergency situation?  For instance, she hates spiders.  They completely freak her out.  What if a spider were to drop down in her lap, what would she do if she were behind the wheel of a car?  Hmm.  This has happened to me a couple times, and although I am not super scared of spiders, I certainly don't like them and usually have some sort of knee-jerk reaction to having appear one in my lap.


Will spiders in cars be outlawed soon?


If you're like many folks these days, you may feel like you're on the go constantly.  I know we eat way too much on-the-go, but sometimes it is the only option if we're out and about.  Have you eaten a taco while driving?  I have many, many times.  Syd's tacos are the worst to eat in the car because they're so greasy (but oh, so good).  I cannot tell you how many times I have dropped the back end of a taco in my lap.  Should I eat a delicious, greasy Syd's taco while driving down the road?  No, probably not, but I must admit I do.


Will eating in cars be against the law next?


Who hasn't been driving down the road with their infant or toddler in the back seat strapped in...and they drop their pacifier, bottle, toy, etc?  I will say I have reached back into the backseat many times to grab something off the floorboard or hand my kids something, only to look back up and realize I have veered off the road.  It is not a good idea, no argument there.


Will they outlaw children in cars while their mothers are driving?


There are so many scenarios that I could come up with that distract me while I'm driving.  Just this morning, driving to work in wintry conditions, I was plugging along following the car in front of me, not having a bit of trouble...and I started daydreaming and went off the road a little bit...and I do mean just a little bit, just enough that my car made that funny sound.  I even laughed to myself because I wasn't texting, talking on the phone, reaching down to grab my fallen phone, picking my nose, getting chap stick out of my purse, putting on make-up or eating a taco.  I simply zoned out.


Will they make daydreaming while driving illegal in the near future?


I recently traded vehicles and now have this touch screen in my dash to control everything.  I'm somewhat comfortable with that screen and how to navigate around it now, but at the beginning, just trying to turn on my defrost could have caused me to crash.  There are some factory-set safety features that keep me from getting too carried away on that touch-screen, but seriously, as much as I love being able to check the weather map or search for the best fuel prices as I'm tooling down the road, it is very distracting.


How is talking on a cell phone more dangerous than that?


I get not texting while driving.  I'm not saying I have never been guilty of this, but I understand the distraction it causes entirely.  Do I think teenagers are capable of texting and driving down the road at the same time?  No, and adults aren't either.  It is dangerous.  No question.  End of story.  I'm not advocating for texting and driving to be legal. 


Lawmakers have decided that at sixteen years old, you are capable and responsible enough to have a driver's license.  Are we preparing our kids for that responsibility or are we going to rely on traffic laws to handle it?


I'm not suggesting driving laws are not necessary. What I am suggesting is that at some point you have to use common sense and take responsibility for your actions.  Dangerous actions often lead to serious and even deadly results.  And there are not enough laws in the land to cover every scenario that might cause an accident.  We must teach kids common sense and responsibility...and better yet, use it ourselves. 


Okay, I'll step off my soap box now...