The child I have

Parent the child you have, not the child you were.  I read that somewhere last year.  It is heavy on my thoughts today.

Our son does not seem to care much, at this point, for sports.  And, oh, it is killing me.  I don't care if he is a super star or not, I just thoroughly love sports and what's better is when you are able to watch your own kids play them.

The boy does love to run.  He won't run with his dad (yet), but he loves to run in races with his peers and pushes himself hard to beat everyone.  He seems fast, but I'm not a good judge in that department (I think a fast walk is good enough).  We are hoping he will maybe take an interest in track when it is available for him.

For some reason it makes me feel like a failure as a parent.  I know it is not.  That is just my pride talking...but then I have that little voice that says somehow I/we have not instilled in him the desire for sports.

Lane is competitive though.  He can't stand to lose when we play games and enjoys winning games with his friends at church and school.  He doesn't really want to be the center of attention.  He would rather stay in the background.  One time a couple years ago when he was in a little basketball league, at one of the games he passed the basketball like it was a hot potato.  I mentioned it later, "Boy, you sure got rid of that ball fast."  His response, "Well, I don't want the ball."  Hmm, in basketball that is kind of the point...

I know he has the desire to win, but what I have to accept is that it may not be at basketball or football - something I want him to do.

When I step back and take a deep breath, I realize it is not really the end of the world.  He enjoys many things like hunting, farming, riding his fourwheeler, working with wood.  It's not like he is lazy or glued to a video game.  When I look over that list, I realize that those are things he can take with him into adulthood just like the skills and lessons you learn from participating in athletics.

It just doesn't seem as fun for me.

I suppose the cheerleader in me is afraid of missing out.  I take pictures and get excited when he has a successful hunt and love hearing him retell the story or show off his 'trophies.'  I guess I could stand in the yard and cheer him on as he zooms by on his fourwheeler...

I certainly do not want him to think I am disappointed in him.  I am not.  My problem is with how I feel I am missing something.  This problem is ME.

This week I attended my first scholastic bowl meet.  Madolyn is on the JV team and it was at home so I went.   It was very interesting.  The best part - they won.  They hadn't won yet so it was exciting...as exciting as a scholastic bowl meet is.  I sat in the back with another parent and there were a few times I could hardly keep from clapping (Madolyn answered 3 questions right).  When it was over, I congratulated the team just like I would if they had won a big game.

Regardless of what my kids are doing, I will support them and I will cheer for them - it just may be from my living room or sitting quietly in the back of a classroom with my hands clinched so as not to clap wildly out loud.

I remember going through this just a little bit with Madolyn and it has gotten better....mostly, after I realized she wasn't going to be a cheerleader like I had been.  I am slightly hopeful that in the future Lane will develop a desire to play more sports, but if he doesn't, I need to accept that and applaud him for whatever HE enjoys doing.  More importantly, I need to accept the child I have.  He is a great kid.